The paragon of parenting, By Temitope Uduokhai-Osimokun


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I admire parents a whole lot. Whether a parent to one or to nine. They are the pillars of society. They make the world go round. How? They provide the foundation on which the fibre of any society is built. They teach, model, correct, protect, love and generally show the way things are done. In other words, the creation of a culture is woven from the home of two people who came together from two different cultures. It is certainly not an easy role to play.

Some parents do not know that being a parent can be a grim experience. That is why they do not engage in proper parenting tactics. I do not fault such parents. I once told a young mother that every parent will always be in Parenting 101 class. Why? Even if you are a parent to many, you go through, for each child and for every stage, one step at a time. Every step happens differently with each child and each action is applied differently. I have two children but each one is as different as night is from day. So are the tactics applied to their grievances and victories.

No parent can be blamed because everything he or she does is an outcome of the totality of his or her experiences. If by my summation, each parent is in Class 101, then one can only imagine what some go through each and every day. Some may go through frustration, disappointment, anger separately. These emotions could even be rolled up in one, resulting in chaos in the family.

Parents who may not to be held responsible are those who are intentional about parenting. They are the ones who go out of their way to develop the attitudes, talents and skills of their offsprings. They implement measures that guide, teach and show the children the best way to go. The moment you find the methods that best suit you does not matter. What matters the most is the point that you discover a suitable method with which to deal with your children at every stage of their lives. That moment is best described as the time when you experience an awakening that drives you to do the right thing for your children. Then, as time goes on, you start to implement the thoughts and actions which come to you. These are the crowning of all the efforts engaged in raising young pillars of the society. That will be your daily strategy and your saving grace.

One way many parents can become paragons of parenting is simply by talking to other parents. It could be at parties, chatting or after official meetings when parents share their children’s issues. Here, parents can learn quite a lot. I will give an example. When at a send-off party, a group of female friends met and asked after one another’s families, they then further discussed the peculiarities and funny antics of each child, resulting in hearty laughter. The question was asked of a parent who had three children, two years apart, ‘What do you do when Mark acts differently from your expectations of him?’ Those parents around the table who had children of the same age shared how they had handled such issues in the past. They parted, learning a thing or two from each other. Those whose children were younger, stored up the knowledge which they knew would be handy later.

Having mentioned that no two children behave similarly, it should be noted that their differences should also cause parents to treat each child’s actions differently. For instance, one child can be scolded and will take the correction. However, it does not follow that siblings can be corrected in the same manner. The other sibling, however, may only have to be reminded of the consequences of behaving in a particular way. Thereafter, a promise is extracted from him not to repeat the behaviour. With the issue resolved, the parent gives the child a hug!

Treating the misbehaviour of children differently does not imply favouritism. It also does not mean that a parent is being too soft. Rather, it shows that the parent understands each child’s peculiarities and how to get him or her to act in the best way. It also speaks to the special love between a parent and their offspring.

Have you ever considered generational differences? There is a widening gap occurring every day. Parents should know this and make a note of it. Are we to be our children’s friends but not caution them on how to speak and address others? Should parents not pay attention to what the children wear, especially out to the public? Are we to permit their indulgences and excesses in the name of freedom and rights? Parents need to ask themselves that if they were raised in the same manner they are presently raising their children, would they have turned out so well? Of course, they need to ask and rate themselves truthfully. Would the answer be a resounding yes or a dull no?

Cheers to paragon parents around the world!

Temitope Uduokhai-Osimokun is a multi-passionate lawyer, a human resources practitioner, an administrator and an educational consultant. Her LearnForward Book Club for children promotes the love of reading. 










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